It was a dark & stormy midsummer's night when all the freaks would come out a night to have fun, frolic & fornication. This didn't sit well with the the Master of Rituals. He stood on the the stage looking down on to the people below. They danced half nakedly to music made by the sacred maboomba. Frankly, he would have enjoyed some nice Dave Matthews but he wasn't part of this ritual.
"Now, my fellow people! The time has come to speak of many things. Of Walruses, Cockle shells & Little Lambsadivey. As the great & powerfull Ah Maz Ing Grace Park once said to a our forefathers & foremothers: I'm a pepper, your a pepper. Wouldn't you like to give your life for the greater good? They said Yeah & it was so! All our ancestores were crushed & made into a fine paste on the battlefield of love! But, because their love was a pure as the Hilary Duff sex tape, they were brought back to life to serve the greater good as Mutant Bunnymen. Those Mutant Bunnyman did have much sex with our mothers, who in 5 years time did produce many a music video which we were all part of!
Now, I shall quote the great scripture from the book of Abe, Brhama & Shick: The time of the great & dreadfull day is almost upon us like a hoe on cheese! We must prepare our beds & lay down upon on the them! The world is what we have made of it, baby! Yeah, Yeah! The World is what we have made of it, Baby! And in ten years time, the world will have changed to were many of what I said shall become null & void!" Said the Great & powerfull Master of Rituals.
He then said "These words which are not my own. For I love you all & know that I am with you in thought, mind & pants pocket. For at that day when the great & dreadfull Zemowocky shall walk among us as a little girl with two little pigtails all in a row. We shall make the people dance for awhile because that's what they truly wanted! This dance shall be a certain dance. A safety dance which hasn't been in style since GWB was born of the calf on the Mount of Black Olives! They shall dance around the fire & the burning texan bush who lies to the public at large about wars & rumors of wars. They shall dance because they want too, they shall dance because it is supper time! They shall dance because it was also the only thing left to do before the great & dreadfull day of their lord & savior: Jarvisity Munga Wikiki.
The dance shall last until the annointed one known as Dawn shall die the most horrible death by way of the New Jersey Turnpike & then until the sun shall came up the next day which will be a Thursday! By the time midmorning comes like a filthy hoebag back from their wanton ways of sex, lies & videotape, most of the chosen people & some of the non chosen shall drink of the mystical KOOL-AID. They shall fell it's grip on their immoral soul! They do not deserve to live in a world where one such as Lindsay Lohan is a marketable product! They will return to this world & exact their revenge when the dreaded Lohan has made a flop at the box office which shall be known as Herbie 4: The Electric Boogalou in 3-D. When our undead members of our party shall return, they shall eat of the brains of Lindsay Lohan & her husband, Frankie Muniz!
Also, 2007 shall be a banner year for underpants for it shall become fashionable to wear your underwear as outerwear much like that lady for the Seinfeld Episode."
Then, the Master of Rituals did a dance which may have been the Safety dance of which he spoke of or he may be having a heart attack. Which it was shall never be known for the Blue Winged Monkeys that torment my ever waking moment will not let this humble servent of the great one who shall not be named know of the outcome which has befallen this group of people!
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